Alive and up for the Cup

I'm alive, all is well. I'm done with uni now (can't believe how quickly three years can go) and I'm currently an unemployed graduate - you've probably seen one before, there's plenty knocking about these days.

World Cup time and I'd thought I'd let you into my 'portfolio'. It sounds very professional but the bets it contains are pretty amateur. Read and laugh as I try and justify betting away those hard earned (now taxable) pounds.

Holland to win outright (11-1)
Yes, everyone says the orange army implode at the big tournaments but it can't happen every time. Trends are there to be upset - look at Workforce, statisticians said no horse beaten in the Dante had won a Derby...until last Saturday. The Dutch team are full of quality: Van Bommel, Sneijder and Van Persie to name a few. The back four is a bit shaky but if they can keep it together, the Tango men will be champs.

Spain to win outright (5-1)
Okay, I've chickened out with this insurance policy but at this price, Spain look a cracking bet. Euro winners two years ago, no-one has looked like beating them since. Are sure to face a strong side in the last 16 from the Group 'of Death' G, they will be confident enough to breeze aside anyone (except Holland in the final hopefully!).

France to win Group A (2.46)
A stonking price - they won the tournament in '98 and still have the class to beat their group-mates. I'm not saying they'll go any further than the knock-out stage but they have the ability to dominate a weak group.

Honduras to concede most goals (9-1)
A tricky bet, with North Korea the favourites. Kim Jong Il's men are pretty dire but they didn't let many in against Mexico and Greece in friendlies so I'm willing to go with Honduras. They're a terrible bunch of men and how they even got to the finals is beyond me. A clean sheet is more common in Pete Doherty's bed than in a Honduras game and hopefully the likes of Switzerland, Spain and Chile can pile in the goals.